How We Feel
by Xtremebass
Summary: I got tired of the angst/shame-fest in the Quincest and Quinlove fandom; these drabbles are my response. Do not like, do not read!


**Hello friends!**

 **I know that I am supposed to be updating my other fic…but I got side-swiped.**

 **No, I am not dead and no, Dignity in Fear is not dead either. I will update. I promise**

 **YES this little fic does include some very minor references to Quincest and future additions will have more intense content; not your cup of tea, do not read and PLEASE don't write me to tell me that it's wrong. This stuff is fiction, people.**

 **I got tired of reading Quinlove/Quincest where everything was angst and shame and guilt and just yelling "This is wrong!" over and over again. So this is what came out of that frustration.**

 **The usual warnings and disclaimers apply.**

 **There will be more added to this in a drabble format as I feel like it, depending on what the response is.**

 **And as always, enjoy!**

 **Ted, a member of their band, opens up about how he feels.**

Does it bother me? No, it doesn't. Frankly it is utterly inconceivable to me now that there even could be anything inherently wrong about either of them.

Yeah, of course at first I was a little shocked, I mean when all the pieces finally fell together it was definitely a huge, resounding "ah ha!" moment; but then it was just so…obvious. Like I was the one who had been stupidly blind, rather than anything being deviously concealed from me.

I mean, they aren't ashamed. Yeah, they don't run through the streets yelling the particulars of their relationship at the top of their lungs, or announce it on stage, though sometimes they seem to get dangerously close; they're private about the _exact_ details. But it goes even further than that. It's like, anyone who is, you know, part of their inner circle, we don't even have to talk about it.  They don't have to talk about it, because they are inseparable, like _literally_ , them being close physically and mentally and emotionally and all of that, it's like, as natural as breathing. It's just a statement of fact.

They were made together.

I think that they say it the best, that they're soul mates; all you would have to do is spend a week alone with them to know how utterly true that is in a hugely basic sort of indefinable way. They don't define it. You just...like, the way they are with one another, during down time. We'll all be watching a movie in a hotel room and Tegan will lay her head in Sara's lap, and I have seen this a hundred times, Sara always, without a doubt, tucks her hand in Tegan's armpit and cups her shoulder blade. It's the weirdest, most…human thing. Like they do it automatically, have been doing it all their lives. And they groom one another constantly, like the other is just an extension of their own body; and, like, isn't that kind of what they are?

I don't know.

Do I think they take it further than that? Yeah, it's…there have been mornings –and nights- where it has been obvious. I shouldn't be saying this, but I actually walked into their bus one morning on the last tour to find them passed the fuck out and crammed, and I mean _crammed_ , into one of those travel bunks. They may be small, but, like, Tegan seemed to be about to fall out and Sara's body weight was basically the only thing holding her in there. Tegan's arms were around Sara's back, and the way that Sara's head was just nestled so perfectly in Tegan's neck…they were obviously, you know, naked. At least from the waist up, the sheets were _barely_ hanging in there but I don't know, I really don't, it seemed like the most natural thing I had ever seen.

Of course I left quickly and quietly, they never knew I was in there and they never will. I don't think they want that sort of thing to be seen. It's way too private.

Whatever the fuck it is, however they define it, it's between the two of them and I doubt that anyone else will ever be privy to it. We don't have to talk about it. It's them, it's their love, their connection, their bodies, their lives. And none of us on the road crew give a damn about it.

I think they could be across the universe from one another, and still, beyond any rules of time or space, find the thread of each other. Maybe that is why they were thrown into life like this in the first place; maybe they DID manage to do that, in a past life or something.

I mean, it's not all pretty, I have seen them yelling at the bloody top of their lungs at one another and pointing fingers and swearing and practically trying to physically wound one another. I've even seen Sara try to throw a punch at Tegan; man that was an intense night, we weren't sure if we could leave them alone together for a minute there! But, they always snap back together. There isn't ever any chance that they won't. It's never like, "oh shit, is this going to be THE fight?" You know? Like, the one that puts an impenetrable wall between them. That will just never happen.

They're stuck, stuck at that center of the two of them.

Of course they write music for one another; that's like where the whole thing started. Sometimes I like, wonder if it's the only way they talk about how they really feel about each other. I don't pretend to know what they say to one another behind closed doors, but I would bet anything that a lot of that comes out in their lyrics. All you have to see is how like, Tegan gets this crazy _look_ on her face when she's watching Sara sing. And vice versa! It makes the hairs on the back of your neck fucking stand up.

So, uh, yeah. That's how I feel about it. And I wouldn't try asking either of them about it unless you want the other coming at you with murder on their brain.

You don't fuck with them. Only they can do that to one another. Unspoken rule.


End file.
